A Bardic epic of the Quest for the Most Holey

Pail Of Auntie Auk

Ok Before I give you the song I feel it is most important to explain how
 the song must be sung.

First you must have an absent band.
Second a sober almost hysterically laughing Bard.
Third a shy Horse who's recently quit smoking and has forgot her patch.

The Song which is taken from the Tor Brant Whoring song, heavily
influenced by a popular Irish Drinking song.

Now you must practise this  many many times especially while eating and
visiting the Lady's room (preferably not at the same time) and where ever
else you may wander and desire to break out into song.

You can gauge whether or not your performance is achieving the desired effect
by the amount of people begging for it to end.  Or by the delight in his
Majesties face by yet another verse.

Also it is important to keep mixing up the tune between the No Nay Never
Song and the Blow the man down song.

( feel free to send me the proper song names)

So I give the song performed by a Horse and her Bard:

We've been wild Skraels for many a year.
And we've spent all our money on whisky and beer.
They asked us to quest for the great holy pail
Lord, Squire and Horse we set off without fail.

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we quest for the pail
no never no more

My first test in the tale, a battle so fierce
Was a brave punning peasant , his heart our Lord pierced.
The dark Knight of the Soul, he challenged us next
he gave us a taper and off we were sent                  (try not to always rhyme)

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we quest for the pail
no never no more

I took from my belt a dragons treasure
And offered it up in exchange for a favour
So off we were sent with a claw in had
To continue our quest across this great land.

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we quest for the pail
no never no more

And as we wandered a man we did see
he stopped us and puzzled us, with questions three.
A book was our token for three answers true.
The door he did open and let us pass through

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we quest for the pail
no never no more

So it was off to the ladies to dance and to woooooooooooooooooo
To prove our chivalry and testosterone toooooooooooooooooooo
We danced and we dined, fell through holes in the wall
and our final reward was the bells of the ball.

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we whore in Flaming Sky's Shire
no never no more

Sorcerer Tim, led us off to a cave
Where a ram stood in for a Rabbit so brave.
The Knights circled round, with their swords held up high
The rabbit(Ram) attacked and flew through the sky.

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we quest for the pail
no never no more

* Note*
It's at this point you should start hearing the other Lords and Ladies
begging for  it to end.

The fighting was fierce and the blows they were strong
The battled continued, MY GOD IT WAS LONG
Brave Robert of Tor Brant disembowelled the beast.
Upon it's entrails, now we will feast   (ok ok so Mordain Killed it but Robert did get the pail)

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we quest for the pail
no never no more

With pail in hand, Our King we approach
Did we mention our baron he smells like  a goat

Singing No ,Nay , Never
No Nay Never no more
will we quest for the pail
no never no more

So on Bended Knee
At the end of our Quest
with all of us tired and needing some rest
we present you the prize that we won with such Luck

THE Great Holy Pail of Auntie Auk

The sober Hysterical Bard
Lady Paitlin inghean Chon Mhera

The Forgetful Horse
Lady Savina of Tor Brant

PS
all Right reserved by Paitlin&SavinaINC.

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